For many patients, the stress of an event isn't just about symptoms or flare-ups. We are anxious about losing autonomy. The question, "If I start to feel unwell, how easily can I leave?" runs constantly in the background, inadvertently triggering the very symptoms we try to avoid.

Having an exit strategy and knowing that you can use it makes a huge difference.

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#1 Control your transportation

The "lock-in" effect (relying on a partner or friend who isn't ready to leave when you are) is a primary source of social stress.

• Drive yourself: If you can drive, taking your own vehicle provides the ultimate safety net. It allows you to leave the moment your body signals a limit, without negotiation.
• Schedule your ride: Use the "Schedule a ride" feature on apps like Uber or Lyft beforehand. knowing exactly when your carriage awaits (e.g., 9:00 PM sharp) allows you to pace your energy toward a specific finish line.

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#2 Set expectations early

You do not need to disclose your medical history to set a boundary. Frame your attendance as enthusiastic but time-bound.

Soft RSVP: "I am so looking forward to coming! I won't be able to stay late, but I can't wait to see everyone."

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#3 Use a buddy system

Your support system acts as a crucial buffer between you and the chaos of an event. This support can come in both IRL and online formats.

• Anchor check-in: Ask your friend/partner to check on you every hour if you’re going to the event together. Sometimes an outside observer can notice signs of fatigue or pallor before you do. If you are attending alone, designate a "digital buddy" (perhaps a friend from your online support group). Send a quick text or emoji check-in periodically.
• Have a code phrase: Navigating a crowded room when you are overstimulated is difficult; you need a shorthand for "I am flagging." A neutral phrase (like asking about the pets or mentioning a specific errand) signals to your partner that it is time to wrap up the conversation.

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#4 Rehearse exit scripts

When it is time to leave, you do not need to justify your departure with a list of symptoms.

• Honest but vague: "I’ve had a wonderful time, but I’ve hit my limit for the evening and need to head home to rest. Thank you for having me!"
• The 'Irish goodbye': In a crowded room, making the rounds to say goodbye to everyone is energy-intensive and often delays your exit by 20 minutes. Find the host, express your gratitude, and slip away. Send a text the next day.

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#5 Scout for a safe harbor

Sometimes you don't need to leave the venue; you jst need to step away from the stimulation.

When you arrive, please identify a quiet space (a guest room, a study, or a quiet hallway) you can use.

If you feel your threshold lowering, excuse yourself to "make a quick call" or check an email. Use that time to sit in silence and breathe. This sensory break can often reset your nervous system enough to allow you to enjoy the rest of the event.

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A note on declining invites

There is a difference between pacing yourself at a party and realizing you shouldn't even go.

If you are in the middle of a medication adjustment, recovering from a flare, or simply running on empty, it is okay to not go.

All you need to say is, "Thank you so much for the invitation. I won’t be able to make it this year, but I hope you have a wonderful celebration. Let’s catch up in January when things settle down."

Protecting your health ensures you can be present for the moments that truly matter.

For a deep dive on how to manage your energy before you even reach the exit, read our guide on The Art of Pacing: How to Celebrate Without the Crash.

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